After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
