North Korea, Best Korea!
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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