can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
