Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
