That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
