I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
