i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
