i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
