Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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