I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
