Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
