I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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