why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
