Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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