Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
