Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
He did a backflip because drugs
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