So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
