I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
