I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Randomize
