he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I think your dad took our porno
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize