just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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