So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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