my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize