So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
