I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
