shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
