I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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