Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
