Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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