my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I want a musical about memes.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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