So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
