im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
