Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize