I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
