he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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