we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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