Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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