you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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