this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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