Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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