Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
