Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm determined to sit on that face.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
