it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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