So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
