So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Randomize
