my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
