Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
