I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
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