I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
