you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Randomize
