ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
