Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
