omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize