can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
