i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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