but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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