Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
