She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
