Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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