Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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